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The Lobster Song
Tune: Itself
"Oh, Mister Lobsterman, home from the sea,
Have you got a lobster you will sell to me?"
Chorus:
Singing ai-diddly-ai, shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust.
"Yes sir, yes sir, I have three,
And the biggest of the bastards I will sell to thee."
-Chorus-
So I took the lobster home, but I couldn't find a dish,
So I put him in the pot where the missus takes a piss.
-Chorus-
In the middle of the night, as you well know,
The missus got up for to have a heave ho.
-Chorus-
Well, the missus gave a groan, and the missus gave a grunt,
Now she got the bloody lobster swinging from her cunt.
-Chorus-
The missus grabbed the brush, and I grabbed the broom,
And we chased the bloody lobster all around the room.
-Chorus-
We hit it on the head, we hit it on the side,
We hit that bloody lobster until the bastard died.
-Chorus-
Oh, the story has a moral, and this is it,
Always take a look before you take a shit.
-Chorus-
That's the end of my story, there ain't no more,
There's an apple up my arsehole, and you can have the core.
-Chorus-
Down in Nagasaki the monkey fucked the cat,
And all the cat could do was fuck the monkey back.
-Chorus-
Drink it down, down, down, down
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