As I Was Walking Through St. Paul's
Tune:  Old Hundredth 

As I was walking through St. Paul's
The vicar grabbed me by the balls.
I cried for "HELP!" but no help came.
And so he grabbed my balls again.

As I was walking through the wood
I shat myself; I knew I would.
I cried for "HELP!" but no help came.
And so I shat myself again.

As I was lying in the grass,
Some bugger rammed it up my ass.
I cried for "HELP!" but no help came.
And so he rammed it up my ass again.

As I was walking through St. Giles's
The bishop grabbed me by my piles.
I cried for "HELP!" but no help came.
And so he grabbed my piles again. Tune by Louis Bourgeois, 1500-1561

 

I learned this one from the Boulder Flatlanders.

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Created   :   2003 August 27
Modified   :   2003 September 9; 2004 February 23; October 26; November 5; 2005 November 11; 2006 January 28: 2010 February 24
Author   :   Jeff "Little Head" Hutchinson
E-mail   :   Hutchinson dot Jeff at gmail dot com
URL   :   https://littlehead-dh3.angelfire.com/words/help.html
Copyright   :   2003-2010