Ball of Kirriemuir
Tune:  Itself 

The ball, the ball
The ball of Kirriemuir:
Where your wife and my wife
Were doin' it on the floor.

Four and twenty virgins
Came down from Inverness
And when the ball was over, there were
Four and twenty less.

      Balls to yer partner,
      Arse against the wall.
      If ya can't get laid on a Saturday night,
      You'll never get laid at all.

Four and twenty prostitutes
Came up from Glockamore.
Only one went home that night and
She was double-bore.


[Once nobody can come up with any more verses]

And when the ball was over,
The maidens all confessed:
Although they liked the music,
[shouted] The fucking was the best!




One particular thing to be aware of in the tune for this song: The tune for the first 'verse' (about our wives) is actually a slightly modified version of the chorus. That's why it's not followed by "--Chorus--" in the words above. The tune file begins with this introductory 'verse', then plays the tune for chorus and verse twice.

This may well be the first of the longer Hash songs I learned (if not the first, then ONE OF the first) and it remains my favorite.

For it, I learned the technique of introducing new verses to a kennel, that I then turned to introducing entire new SONGS once I became RA.

You will find that each person in the kennel will tend to know a few verses to long songs (a slightly different collection than anybody ELSE in the kennel) and will always sing those few verses. Once you know the tune and the usual verses that your kennel sings, find or compose ONE NEW VERSE. The first time you sing it, you'll get laughter and cheers. Every time your kennel sings the song, throw your new verse in. After a few times through (depending on the kennel, this will be three to ten times), someone else will pick it up and sing it for you. By this time, you should have ANOTHER new verse ready. Sing it instead.

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Created   :   2010 February 20
Modified   :   [Modify dates]
Author   :   Jeff "Little Head" Hutchinson
E-mail   :   Hutchinson dot Jeff at gmail dot com
URL   :
Copyright   :   2010