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The Bruces' Philosopher Song
Tune:  The Philosopher's Song 
 from 
 Monty Python 

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Neitszche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
"I drink, therefore I am."

But it's Socrates, himself, who's particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

Drink it down, down, down, down,

 

Another song that seems to have lots of small differences depending on who is singing. Since I've never managed to actually hear the album (this was on Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl, wasn't it?), I can't comment. This is simply how I learned it from Deep in the End and Cum Silent, Cum Deep of the Boulder Flatlander's H3.

Click here to return to the index of 1st lines.


Created   :   2003 August 24
Modified   :   2004 March 1; October 26; 2005 November 11; 2006 January 28: 2010 February 24
Author   :   Jeff "Little Head" Hutchinson
E-mail   :   Hutchinson dot Jeff at gmail dot com
URL   :   http://LittleHead-DH3.angelfire.com/words/philosng.html
Copyright   :   2003-2010